As far as I can remember, I first felt depressed after the death of my maternal grandfather when I was eight. I felt alone and lost in my world—something was missing, but I couldn’t figure out what it really was.
Over time, I realized that my depressive episodes were almost always triggered by the death of someone, especially young people. Each time a young person died, I felt life was meaningless; it could end at any moment, and everything would be over. This thought would pull me into a bottomless pit of despair, and the suffering felt overwhelming.
Although other reasons also contributed to my feelings, death was the main trigger. In 1986, my eldest sister passed away, and the spiral truly began. Two years later, it was my father’s turn. I thought this was more than I could bear. Severe depression would strike intermittently, making life unbearable at times. Life felt senseless, but I was afraid of dying. This pattern lasted for years.
In 1991, I went to France, where I faced many challenges and endured what I now call my "Dark Nights of the Soul." Today, however, I see my time there as one of life’s greatest gifts. It was mostly in France that I discovered books on spirituality, metaphysics, and similar topics that broadened my understanding of life. I also developed deep compassion and understanding for other human beings and animals.
When I returned to Rodrigues Island in 1993, I felt some relief, but depression would still knock at my door from time to time. A single remark from someone could trigger hours of negative thoughts and intense pain.
Over the years, I found practices that helped me cope: meditation, prayer, deep relaxation, medication, and music. Reading inspiring and self-help books was lifesaving. In 2005, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle changed my life. It taught me how to disconnect from my debilitating thoughts, even for a moment. That relief was life-changing.
Meanwhile, I had become passionate about writing—journaling and poetry, in particular. I wrote dark poems to release my suffering but also created uplifting ones that gave me reasons to keep going. In December 2021, I published a collection of these poems and have decided to share more of them to inspire and support others on their journeys.
I would like to use this platform to connect with you, sharing my writings to inspire and uplift, while keeping you informed about upcoming publications. Together, let us navigate life’s challenges with hope, resilience, and compassion.
Joseph Jean Baptiste Jolicoeur
